Sarah Conover, blog and newsletter editor: as we have a number of families in Haystack Heights, some with teens and some with families whose children are headed to adolescence, I thought I'd feature an article by my friend, Evelyn Messinger, who I can always count on to see any situation in unexpected ways.
My twins Sam and Kate are teenagers now. I’m grateful that neither of them are manic or theatrical children. They are not likely to show up one day as members of a religious cult, or with tattoos on their faces. Nonetheless, at 15 years old, they tend more and more towards the classic sullen teen archetype. Dinner table conversations evaporate. Information is withheld. It all happened very suddenly, after an early adolescent golden age during which they actually thought their parents were cool. Now they have pushed their little dinghies off from the parental cruise ship, rowing against the fearsome swells to escape. Whether we like it or not, we won’t prevent them from sliding over the waves, hell-bent on mastering adulthood. They demand that we no longer treat them like children, even though they act like big babies. We hear less and less about their exploits, even as they venture further and further from home. Of course, they don’t drive themselves to these adventures—oh no. It is still I, mom, who spends uncountable hours driving clusters of girls or boys hither and yon. The girls mutter incomprehensibly to each other between fits of irritatingly raucous laughter. The boys play video games that we can’t comprehend, but suspect might be bad for them. They don’t cook much, or clean up without prodding. They do come to the dinner table when called, to consume massive quantities of food that have been lovingly prepared for them. So my drudgery goes on: all that food is purchased and lugged home, cooked and consumed, the leftovers discarded and the dishes washed–mostly by us. But here’s the surprise: this situation has led me to see the great secret of the battle between teens and parents that characterizes the modern age. Truth is, the kids are getting a bad rap. It’s the parents who rebel against their teenagers. As the most onerous aspects of parental indenture fall away (think diapers, glitter, and broken keepsakes), parents begin to remember what life was like before the great child-raising task began. We find ourselves considering our own needs, long deferred. We hit a breaking point; we demand that our teens be more responsible for the family enterprise. “You are old enough to take some responsibility!” means: I am done being your slave! That is when we become entrenched in a kind of domestic sectarian warfare, where retaliation can escalate to punishment. “That music is awful,” I scream. “How many times have I told you to use headphones? I need to listen to the news on NPR and it wouldn’t hurt you to start paying some attention to the real world. I said, HEADPHONES! Be careful, I am about to take that phone away…wait, wait–since when are you a fan of Lamar Kendrick—I mean, Kendrick Lamar?” Imagine how this looks to the kids, their whole lives until now bathed in the tender love and attention of childhood. My sudden demands must feel like a form of rejection, even abandonment. And their reactions look like rebellion, but may be closer to confusion. Because after all, I’m the one who wants more now–more time to myself, more interesting food, more engaging entertainment. They just want what they have always had: unconditional praise and affection. This is embarrassing for a parent like me to admit. How often have I imagined myself the better parent–better than my husband, my own parents, the parents of my kid’s friends, the parents of the future shoplifters, hackers and dropouts who lurk just beyond the horizon of my protection? But how can I be a good parent when the only positive outcome of parenting is that my children leave me? Does the “good” parent buckle them into their lifejackets and set the engines of the mothership in reverse? Or am I “good” when I hold the prow of their rowboats in a frantic grip and insist that they’re not going anywhere. I’m only now groping towards understanding this problem. It has something to do with mutual respect, and with a parent’s role in maintaining civility. If I ask them to grow up as well as to continue to love me, I should be prepared to be grown up too, or more precisely, to stay grown up. At least until they graduate from high school. I have a feeling it doesn’t actually end at that, but I’ll let you know when we get there. Eveylyn Messinger is the television producer of www.thisplanet.tv
39 Comments
Rose Marco
8/16/2021 02:36:56 pm
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10/30/2023 07:58:11 pm
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12/6/2021 07:59:45 am
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2/15/2022 09:43:39 am
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6/21/2022 02:26:15 pm
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Nicole Morris
6/22/2022 11:59:06 am
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7/8/2023 02:22:36 am
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5/10/2024 05:30:53 pm
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5/13/2024 04:55:30 pm
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5/15/2024 02:11:03 am
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5/20/2024 06:11:43 am
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5/27/2024 06:48:03 pm
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6/8/2024 02:17:23 am
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6/10/2024 04:29:57 am
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Claudia Nacho
6/10/2024 08:51:02 am
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6/11/2024 04:53:21 am
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6/18/2024 01:44:35 am
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6/18/2024 08:38:09 pm
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6/25/2024 08:21:32 pm
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7/1/2024 06:15:18 pm
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Katherine Griffith
7/8/2024 05:20:57 pm
Hello everyone, I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about Dr Kachi for helping me to win the LOTTO MAX, i have been playing all types of lottery for the past 9years now. the only big money i have ever win was $3000 ever since things became worse to enduring because i couldn’t been able to win again, i was not happy i need help to win the lottery, until the day i was reading a newspaper online which so many people has talked good things about best lottery cast Dr Kachi who can change your life into riches. So I contacted him and he cast the spell and gave me the hot figures. I played the LOTTO MAX DRAW Behold when I went to check and to my greatest surprise my name came out as one of the winners. I won $60 Millions Dr Kachi, your spell made it wonderful to win the lottery. I can't believe it. Thank you so much sir for dedicating your time to cast the Lottery spell for me. I am eternally grateful for the lottery spell winning Dr Kachi did for me. I’m now out of debts and experiencing the most amazing good life of the lottery after I won a huge amount of money. I am more excited now than I ever have been in my life. In case you also need him to help you win, you can contact: [email protected] OR Call/Text number: +1 (209) 893-8075 Visit his Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
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Betty Jakub
7/9/2024 02:24:23 am
Greetings, I'm sharing this because I know someone may be experiencing what I was going through in my relationship, my boyfriend has been abusive towards me and always find fault in anything I do and all this started all of a sudden. He used to be a loving and caring guy to me but all that changed when he travelled home and came back. I want peace to come back in my relationship so I searched for help, that was when I read about Dr Ajayi who is a powerful spell caster, I contacted Dr Ajayi and explained my relationship problem to him and he told me things to be done to save my relationship, at first I was afraid but because I really want peace in my relationship I did all that was asked from me and to my surprise, after a week of the job, my boyfriend went on knees and beg me for all the wrongs he has done to me and said he doesn't know what came over him, now I'm a happy woman and peace reigns in my home. If you are having any kind of relationship problem Dr Ajayi is your last stop. You can reach him on Whatsapp : +2347084887094 or you Email : [email protected]
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Susan Bickford
7/16/2024 03:46:35 am
It's A Great News to Celebrate with you Viewer, I am truly living the life I have been looking for after Dr Kachi made me win my Powerball Lottery, I had been playing for a good 8years. It was a friend of mine who directed me to Dr Kachi because my friend Nancy has won the Powerball so many times and I don't know how she got the match six numbers to play and win a very big amount of money, then the last time she won the Mega Millions I told her to tell me the secret on how she win. That's when she started telling me about the powerful Dr Kachi who has been her helper. and she gave me Dr Kachi Text/Call Number:+1 (209) 893-8075 I texted the greatest spell caster Dr Kachi and I told him I wanted to win my Powerball with his spiritual rightful number and he told me I should give him 2hours to get everything done and hopefully Dr Kachi do it, and give me a winning numbers to play my ticket that make me win the prize of $223.3 Million Dollars Powerball lottery Tuesday i bought the winning ticket at the Carlie C’s IGA store in Hope Mills, that changed my life for good today, and Dr Kachi a strong spell caster and trust him when he says the results will manifest it's Truth, God bless you Dr kachi for your kind help also can Email: [email protected] or website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
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Clayton Randy
7/20/2024 11:29:41 am
I’ve been in the real estate business for over 4 years and I was always on the lookout for new lucrative investments. Bitcoin caught my eye early on, and I decided to invest $65,000 in purchasing Bitcoin. Over time, my investment shot to $385,000. This significant profit margin allowed me to expand my real estate business and purchase additional properties. However, my joy turned to panic when I received an email that seemed to be from my trading platform. It asked me to verify my account details. Without hesitation, I provided the information. Soon after, I discovered that my Bitcoin wallet had been drained. Devastated, I sought help and found a recommendation for EVIL HACKERS RECOVERY on a real estate forum. I contacted them immediately and they assisted me. Their team was highly professional and quick in their response. They meticulously traced the fraudulent activity and managed to recover most of my funds. Evil Hackers Recovery also educated me on crucial security measures. They emphasized the importance of using two-factor authentication, creating strong, unique passwords, and recognizing phishing attempts. This experience was a tough lesson, but their guidance helped me secure my Bitcoin more effectively for the future. For similar reasons contact them at: WhatsApp: +3 538 9982 0359, Email: recoveryevilhackers @gmail.com
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7/22/2024 09:23:01 am
If not for Baba Powers what would my life turn out to be? I want you all to please contact Baba Powers now to get the powerful black mirror from him. I want you all to also BELIEVE AND TRUST HIM because whatever he tells you is the TRUTH and 100% guaranteed. The black mirror makes it happen, attracts abundance. I bought the black mirror from Baba Powers and now, I am super rich and successful with the help of the black mirror. When I first saw the testimonies of Baba Powers of the black mirror, I thought it was a joke but I contacted him to be sure for myself and to my greatest surprise, the black mirror is real. The black mirror is powerful. Check him out on his website to see plenty of amazing testimonies from people about him. These are some of the people that he has helped. Here is his website; Babablackmirrorsofpowers.blogspot.com and here is his email; [email protected] I really can't thank you enough Baba Powers. God bless you, thank you
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Tameem Zaman
7/23/2024 01:48:39 pm
I rarely write reviews, I'm not the only one singing the praises of EVIL HACKERS RECOVERY. Testimonials from satisfied clients speak volumes about the exceptional service and results delivered by these digital recovery. If you ever find yourself in a Bitcoin bind, trust me, EVIL ACKERS RECOVERY is the beacon of hope you need in the murky waters of cyberspace. When it comes to recovering lost Bitcoin, it's not all magic spells and wizardry. Expert recovery services like EVIL HACKERS RECOVERY often rely on the power of data analysis and forensic investigation to track down missing cryptocurrencies. By digging into transaction histories, wallet addresses, and other digital breadcrumbs, these professionals can uncover clues that lead to the recovery of lost Bitcoin. In the world of cryptocurrency, the blockchain is like a digital paper trail that records every transaction ever made. Recovery specialists at Evil Hackers Recovery harness the power of blockchain tracking to trace the movement of lost Bitcoin. By dissecting the blockchain data and employing sophisticated recovery methods, they can follow the virtual money trail and bring back those elusive Bitcoins to their rightful owners. To prevent the heart-wrenching experience of losing your Bitcoin, it's crucial to secure your digital wallet with best practices. This includes using strong passwords, enabling two-factor authentication, and storing backups in secure locations. By taking proactive steps to protect your Bitcoin wallet, you can significantly reduce the risk of loss or theft. In the volatile world of cryptocurrency, risks are as common as memes on Reddit. To safeguard your investments, consider implementing risk mitigation strategies such as diversifying your holdings and setting up contingency plans in case of emergencies. Having backup plans in place can provide peace of mind and ensure that you're prepared for any crypto curveballs that come your way. In the wild west of the cryptocurrency world, lost Bitcoin can feel like a modern-day treasure hunt. Recovery services like Evil Hackers Recovery play a crucial role in navigating the digital wilderness and helping crypto enthusiasts reclaim their lost fortunes. By combining cutting-edge techniques with a sprinkle of magic, these experts showcase the value of their skills in recovering valuable assets in the crypto verse. So, if you find yourself in a Bitcoin bind, remember that expert help is just a wand wave away. You can contact them via email and WhatsApp: [email protected], +3 538 9982 0359
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Haris
7/24/2024 03:27:11 pm
I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 1 years and 8 months, and ever since then I have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until I came across testimonies of Dr. Osazu on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then I contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which I took according to his instructions. When I was done taking the herbal medicine I went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise I was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr. Osazu today on this Email address: [email protected]
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Susan Bickford
7/25/2024 09:48:16 am
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